I’m Better Than You: The Narcissistic New Year’s Facebook Status
By: Charlene Lazewski
My journey through my social media escapades consisted of a lot of eye rolls, questioning where humble personalities have gone, and acknowledging that humility is just dead overall.
My entire news feed was full of statuses where people didn’t just generally wish everyone a happy new year, full of joy and health. Instead people, made their new year’s wish status about themselves. They listed each specific great thing that happened to them in 2016. From, “we bought our first home, traveled here and there” to “I got my dream job, got the promotion I wanted”.
Okay…great, wonderful! I’m glad that in this world where such horrible things have been happening to innocent people, you are doing so fantastic. But, do you really have to plaster it on Facebook? What does that do for the people you are friends with on Facebook, really? Call me old school, but I’ve always been under assumption that the holiday season, including new year’s is about putting yourself last, and doing more for others, spreading cheer, and most of all kindness. There are people out there that are reading your self indulged statuses, while they’ve suffered a lot of hardships in the past year. So, your status is most definitely not spreading holiday cheer. It’s unnecessary, selfish, conceded, and just makes you come out as narcissistic.
And, I know what some of you are thinking, “oh, well people are just thankful for all the good that happened to them in 2016.” THAT in itself is wonderful. It’s the specific listing of all the good, that’s the problem. That’s just throwing it in people’s faces. Where is the humility in that? Some people had a year of struggles, and your status is not making it any better. Forget about yourself for a second. Stop using social media platforms as tools to prove to people that your life is better than theirs’, and instead use it to inspire people, to spread joy, kindness, and wisdom. People will appreciate a person who manifests a humble and generous personality, more than a person who is a walking, talking, posting billboard for themselves. In the end, if you have to advertise yourself and your life so much on social media, than you’re just proving to be insecure. Confidence glows more with humility and silence.
Let’s stay grounded this 2017, and help one another prosper and succeed. In the end, that’s what a good year is all about.
The Dream Is Free, But The Hustle Is Sold Separately
By: Charlene Lazewski
We are raised by society to dream big, and fight the fight in order to get to that desired destination. That “fight” is not easy. It’s a journey full of obstacles. But, it makes the end “prize” even sweeter. And here’s the kick, everyone has the fight in them to go through the journey of achieving their dreams/goals. The only ingredient you need is passion. Luckily, passion is in all of us. Just use it the right way, and dreams will come true consistently. When you believe and perform with passion, it generates success all around you.
Right now, you carrying an idea that you consider to be big. One that is unique, and that will blow all the other fish out of the water. But, it’s not even going to blow a tadpole out of the water if you don’t hustle. By hustle, we mean you eat, live, and breathe your business idea. All day, every day. And every day that you live, you put in all your efforts into making the idea bigger, and better than the day before. Eventually converting your business idea into an empire.
Many times, when people start a business, they drive it with only one thing in mind…money/profit. And, that’s a huge mistake. If you build your business with that as your top goal, your business will basically crash and burn. You simply just cannot just jump from ‘A’ to ‘Z’ instantly. You have to also give importance, time, and dedication to all the letters in between, so to speak. Every step of building and carrying a successful business matters. So it’s critical for you to give your passion to all the steps in between.
Another popular element that will cause your business to crumble right before you is, greed. This also ties in with profit. But, it also deals with only thinking by yourself, for yourself. Sure, perhaps you came up with your business idea on your own, and started it on your own. But, maybe at some point you will need help, and will form a team. To make your business succeed, and pass on your passion to your team members, you must also put them first. It shouldn’t be about taking it all for yourself. Your team members are assisting your hustle, and giving your business life. You’re the heart of your business, but they’re the arteries that feed into the heart.
It’s fair to say that if you’re an entrepreneur, you obviously have passion within you. But, passion alone won’t drive you to the top. You must add the secret ingredients daily….motivation, drive, and hustle. Lots of hustle. “Excuses” shouldn’t even be part of your vocabulary. Anyone can have a dream. But, that endless/invincible hustle, THAT is your ticket towards taking your business to the very top.
Mirror Mirror On The Wall, Don’t Knock Me Down If I’m A Doll
By: Charlene Lazewski
Since I was a pre-teen, I have loved getting dolled up in makeup. Of course, back then it was just a little bit of make up. Very natural looking makeup. Perhaps a little eyeshadow, some powder, and a pale lip gloss. As I got older, I liked to experiment with beauty products. Bolder colors, different styles, different techniques, etc. Now, here’s the problem. There are women who criticize or judge women like me. I have had other women come to my home on a weekday morning, weeks after I gave birth to my baby, and ask how and why I am wearing makeup and a cute outfit, when I JUST had a baby. Um, well because I care about myself. I love myself. And I WANT to ALWAYS look my best. I mean, in the end, I AM who represents myself at ALL times. No one else. So, why wouldn’t I want to look my absolute best. It makes me happy. It most definitely makes my husband happy. So, it’s a win win.
The way I see it, when I open my eyes up in the morning, it’s the beginning of a celebration. It’s another day I have been blessed with. Another day I get to kiss and hold my children. Another day I get to hug my husband and tell him how much I love him. Overall, another day I get to celebrate the life I have created for myself. Keyword: self. It starts with me, this little thing called life. And well, I want to get all dolled up for it all the time! I’m not saying, I’m going to look like I’m going to the Oscars every day. But, I WILL put on full makeup (usually something very natural looking, sometimes something a little bolder and daring – all depending where I am going that given day), every day. Other women have insinuated I like to wear makeup every day because I think I am ugly. The answer is absolutely NOT. I think I am beautiful without makeup. So, why not accentuate that beauty even more with some makeup every day?
Do other women who attack women like me, do it out of jealousy? Or are they frustrated because their views and my views don’t match? Whatever the case may be, women should just live their lives and rock whatever they are passionate about. If they think looking their best is wearing sweatpants every single day, putting their hair up in a ponytail, and wearing no makeup, so be it. That’s what makes them feel their best. That’s what gets them through their days, with a smile on their faces. That is how they celebrate their life. I am different, and I know that’s okay. Every woman is different, and I wish the women that were different, didn’t attack women like me.
I love makeup. I love fashion. I love looking beautiful. I love keeping my husband on his toes with a new hair do, a new outfit, etc. I love it when he looks at me like he did when we first fell in love, and it’s been 12 years together. But, more importantly, I love inspiring other women to experiment with their natural beauty. Sometimes, we women get so wrapped up in our busy lives, that we forget to really take time for ourselves. It doesn’t take long. Give yourselves 20 minutes every morning, and aim to look your best. Get dolled up. Play around with clothing you already own, create an outfit. Accentuate your natural beauty even more, with a little makeup. And finally, don’t forget the most important part of being beautiful….be humble and kind inside. Don’t attack women that aren’t like you. In the end, that is what actually makes a woman ugly.
Why Are We So Vulnerable To The Fakery of Instagram?
By: Charlene Lazewski
This past year, I got really intrigued with psychology, and it helped me survey present day societal social media habits. Ironically enough, I have also noticed popular influencers take a step back this year, and in a sense lay low from the never ending hustle that is social media, especially Instagram. Perhaps it was the madness of Mercury Retrograde this year. But, 2019 was a year where many came into points of realizations, broke away from millennial norms, and instead self reflected, only to realize that the life they presented on Instagram is pointless fakery.
As I became more of an outsider looking in this past year, I noticed how people will go to any lengths to capture the “perfect” IG picture. I’ve even seen people who are six feet into a sea of debt, charge lavish trips to exotic or luxurious locations, only to get that envy worthy travel content on their IG stories. I asked one of the people who are guilty of this, “why go to that extreme?”. They responded, “I’m an influencer, and I have to keep the followers I do have coming back for more, and engage new people into becoming followers”. But, still I was left questioning, why, and for what. Are people living for Instagram standards, as opposed to living for themselves?
In April of this year, I attended BeautyCon NYC. It was my first time at this event, and as a makeup and skincare lover, I expected to explore the most life changing cosmetics. Instead, what I got more of was an Instagram selfie, picture, and story circus. When, I went in I saw people completely decked out. And listen, I am ALL for getting glam-ed out, but some of these people took it to a halloween costume level. Basically, making it quite obvious that they were just trying too hard. The thirst for instagram validation at this event was real AF. The brands that were there all had “insta-worthy” spots for pictures, and the lines for that were 100 times longer for that, than to talk to brand ambassadors, try on products, and grab free samples.
I personally, was turned off by this. I get it, some people make a living these days solely from Instagram, but at the cost of losing yourself? At the cost, of working so hard to meet a certain “persona” or brand, that in time, you forget who you truly are?
One has to ask, why is it so easy for so many to give into this IG world. Is it that no one knows how to just exist without having to constantly prove themselves to an audience on a social media platform? Is it that parents and schools aren’t teaching kids about self love, self esteem, self respect, the beauty of individuality? Is it that the vast amount of technology these days, has caused so many to drown in a pit of insecurity, and their only life vest, is conforming to a stereotype or character on Instagram?
Recently, popular beauty vlogger, Kathleen Lights posted a video on all of this, and I am so glad she did. Because, popular influencers like her are looked up to by so many young girls. And, her taking a step back from the makeup world to get really honest, raw, and real is what young girls truly need today, and always. If not, I’m afraid that this black hole of self validation hunger is going to eventually gulp self identity away.
Let’s all collectively start posting more realness on Instagram, and create a new meaning to “IG worthy”. Let’s make “IG Worthy” be about honesty, kindness, and selflessness. Adopting this social media strategy can lead to more self love in the world, as opposed to depression, and constant self criticism.
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