Mean Moms Wear Pink On Wednesdays…

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We all are familiar with the 2004 movie, Mean Girls. It depicts how truly vicious high school social circles can be to one another, for really no good reason. As a mom of two young boys, I have come to realize that “Mean Girls” does not only apply to teenagers. It very well applies to many moms out there.

Since my oldest started going to school, I have met several moms. And with most of them, our first “play date” goes something like this….

“So, what do you do?”

“What does your husband do”?

“What do you do for fun?”

“What does your husband’s family do?”

“Are you guys vegan, gluten free, paleo, etc”

“How big is your house?”

And the list goes on and on. It is basically a domestic interrogation process. I remember the first mom I ever went on a play date with — I literally wouldn’t be done answering a question, when she would already start asking me another question. She didn’t give me a chance to finish anything. Was she a friendly mom, or a cop?!

That same mom later invited me to her son’s birthday party.  I remember being excited because it would be my son’s first little kid’s birthday party. Being that he was so little, I stayed with my son at the party. But, I let him do his own thing with the other children there. Me, on the other hand, had to swim through the seas of judging mommies. I felt the stares. I heard the whispers. I looked at my cell hoping it was time for the party to end. No one knew me. I was “the new mom”.

I decided to give myself an imaginary slap in the face, and approach these moms….say hello, and start up some good conversation. But, it was just plain awkward, and pointless. As I started talking to them, they would slowly start conversation with the moms they DID know, and leave me to fend for myself. I continued to try with other moms, but I was left like a lonely cactus in the desert. Why? I HAVE NO IDEA. Was it because I wasn’t brought into their circle by another mom? Was it because I wasn’t a part of the PTA board at the local elementary school? Was it because I was the only mom not wearing mom pants? Was it because I went to a kid’s birthday party in heels? Was it because I was wearing a full face of makeup? Who knows. But, what I did know was that if those were the reasons why no one really wanted to sincerely get to know me, than these “mom circles” were just like “The Plastics” in “Mean Girls”. And nothing about their theories or logic had any validation. And neither did mommy circles, apparently.

The years have now gone by. I have met more moms here and there, but I just can’t get into it. They do the interrogation, which is worse than dating. Then you have to wait and see if you “made the cut”. Oh! They’re calling you for a second play date! You made the cut! On the second play date, they talk garbage about the other moms they are “friends with”. And, as they’re talking about how ugly “Bobby’s mom’s hair looked yesterday”, I’m wondering what she says about ME, when she’s with Bobby’s mom! Just like Regina George!

It’s just an exhausting thing to deal with. I know not all moms out there are like this. But, where are they?! It’d be really cool to just meet some non-corny, overbearing, authentic, sincere, fun moms. You know, non crap talking, non PTA loving, non interrogating, non die hard crafting moms, just normal moms who just want to build real friendships with other moms. Not much to ask for, is it?

Now, I’m basically the “odd mom out” of the local preschool and elementary school. I don’t do the cliche mom things. I don’t go over other moms’ houses for coffee while our kids are at school. I don’t volunteer at every event my kids have at their school. I just live every day to make sure I’m raising my kids right, making my husband happy as he makes me happy, and of course working…because we all gotta make a buck, right?

With that said, Cady (Lindsay Lohan’s character in Mean Girls) said it right at the end of the movie, “It’s a jungle out there…”. That, it is. As a non conventional mom, all you can do is take it day by day. The “right one” is out there. The mommy friend who is also non traditional, and just wants to live life and love her kids. Done deal. One day, I’ll meet her. Wear a helmet moms…life’s tough….

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The Breastfeeding Feeding PRESSURE Is Real

Fashion Designer, former Hills Star, and new mommy, Whitney Port has been documenting her pregnancy from the very beginning. You can catch the series on Youtube, titled “I Love My Baby But…” . In her latest documentation, she talks breastfeeding, and the difficulty of it, and the pressures and judgements she receives from other moms. She wants to breastfeed for the baby’s benefit, but there have been latching problems, and extreme pain. At one point she says it feels like someone is taking shards of glass to her nipples. You can tell she is breaking from this mentally, emotionally, and it’s just heartbreaking to watch.

I’ve been in the same exact boat she has, and it sucks. Here’s what I have to say about breastfeeding….

I applaud every single mom who can breastfeed easily. It’s the best thing for baby, no doubt. BUT, it doesn’t come easy for some moms and babies. As long as you tried, it’s OK. There are always other options like pumping and occasional supplementing with formula. The MOST important thing is that you try, and seek assistance from professionals. If all that doesn’t work, whether it be latch issues or extreme pain, it’s FINE. The “Good Mom” thing to do, is to be happy while feeding baby (breast, pump, formula). And, that baby is also happy while getting fed. THAT is the REAL bonding experience. So, don’t let other moms say that only breastfeeding will give you that “bonding experience” with your baby. Bonding with baby is the connection between mother and child BOTH being in comfort, happiness, and pure bliss together at the same time. However you both get to that “bond”, is your business, and NO ONE should judge you for it.

So, take some time, and watch this video. All Whitney wants is to be a good mom, and do the best for both her and her baby boy.

10 Wedding Etiquettes You Should Break

By Charlene Lazewski

1. Brides Must Wear White On Their Wedding Day
With so many beautiful fabric, texture, and color options in dresses today, wearing a white gown on your wedding day is a tradition that can be cancelled out. In fact, before Queen Victoria of England, brides wore whatever color dress they wanted on their wedding day. Queen Victoria simply decided white would be her color of choice for her wedding gown, and for some reason, everyone followed after. So, really there isn’t, nor ever was a rule for a wedding gown having to be white. Pick YOUR color. Whatever color suits your skin tones/ hair color best.

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2. You Must Invite Out-of-town guests to your rehearsal dinner
This is like the “political correct” of the wedding world. It used to be that for your rehearsal dinner, you only invite your wedding party. But, now it has become the norm to also invite any out-of-town guests coming to your wedding. So, basically what used to be a “rehearsal dinner” is now a second wedding. Which means, M-O-N-E-Y. Like, you haven’t spent enough already, right? Instead of breaking the bank, keep your rehearsal dinner intimate, just for the wedding party. And, for your out-of-town guests, instead provide them with a well curated list of restaurants in the area they can go to. That way, you are still going out of your way to set them up with a little perk for traveling for your wedding, and you don’t go under the A-hole slot for not inviting them to the rehearsal dinner : ) Another option is to plan a little cocktail party after your rehearsal dinner, where you invite your out-of-town wedding guests. It’s fun, more low key, and best of all, a lot less money than having them at your rehearsal dinner!

3. You Must Invite Everyone With A Guest
You know how they say that the real work in wedding planning is the guest list? Well, that’s because it’s the most annoying task. Why? Because, it’s where you will either make family and friends love you for the rest of their lives or hate you. You will basically make or break relationships depending on who you include or leave out on the list. But, when the guest list grows, so does your wedding bill. And, let’s face it…. you can’t make everyone happy. It’s impossible. Always remember while creating a wedding guest list, this is YOUR day. Not your co-worker’s girlfriend’s day, or your boss’s daughter’s day. If people get offended that you haven’t invited their girlfriend or boyfriend of a month, so be it. Move on, and enjoy YOUR wedding day!

4. Your Registry Should Only Include Houseware Items
It’s your wedding day. You deserve whatever your little heart desires as gifts. It used to be the norm to register for all houseware items for you wedding registry. But, now people are registering for basically anything and everything. You can register for a honeymoon, sporting equipments, hobby supplies, the list goes on. Especially, in an age where many couples live together before marriage, they end up having a lot of household essentials already. So, why register for more household items. Break the norm, and register for what you really need/want.

5. The Bride’s Dress Should Be Long
With all that dieting and exercise you do to get ready for your big day, why shouldn’t you show off your nice legs?! Makes no sense to wear a long dress, right? Show those legs off in a short wedding dress instead. No need to workout, and then not show it off, right?

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6. You Should See Your Bride/Groom For The First Time On Your Wedding Day, At Ceremony
They say that if you see your groom before the ceremony on the day of the wedding, it brings on bad luck. But, does it really? More couples today are leaving the superstition behind them, and seeing one another before their ceremonies begin. Instead of catching the first glimpse of your bride or groom, in front of all your wedding guests, you can have this highly emotional moment in private. Photographers and videographers are more than happy to capture this special moment, so you can treasure it always.

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7. Seating At Your Wedding Should Be Divided By Groom And Bride Sides
Here’s why the whole “Bride side” and “Groom side” seating plan at a wedding ceremony, is pointless. The bride’s family might be huge, and the groom’s family may be small. So, what bride wants to walk in with a nice full side, and a sad empty side. Kinda depressing, right? But, if you let your guests sit wherever their little hearts desire, you’ll have nice full, and even sides to walk into. That sounds nicer, right? So, instead of having a designated bride and groom side at your ceremony, just let guests sit freely. Easier for you, easier for them. Sounds good!

8. You Must Walk Down The Aisle
Do you think that all brides must walk down the aisle? Most would answer ‘yes’ to that question. But, the truth is, you can just skip that long (sometimes even awkward) walk, and just meet up with your groom. Faster, and more simple…which means a win/win.

9.You Have To Leave For Your Honeymoon Right After Your Reception
This one is very old school. It was once the norm for married couples to leave for their honeymoons right after their reception. Anyone that has already gone through a wedding day, can tell you how exhausting THAT is alone. Imagine also having to travel after a super tiring and hectic day. Plus, having the thought in your head that you still have to travel after the wedding is done, can prevent you from truly taking your special day fully in. So, no doubt the best thing you can do is take your honeymoon a few days, weeks, even months after your wedding. You’ll be more relaxed, and able to really enjoy your romantic vacation with your new husband or wife.

10. The Bridal Party Must All Match
The majority of brides have their bridesmaids match in regards to dresses. Many grooms also have their groomsmen’s suits match. But, a trend has recently started where bridal parties don’t necessarily match exactly. Instead, brides and/grooms select a certain color or pattern, and then allow each bridesmaid and groomsmen to wear any dress/suit that fits into that scheme. And, in all honesty, it looks even more beautiful in pictures and in person to have everyone in different attire. It’s also a breath of fresh air for your bridal party, because not everyone can fit or look right into only one style dress or suit. We’re all fabulous, but we all come in different shapes, and sizes 🙂

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Mommy: Party of One, And That’s OK

By Charlene Lazewski

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Do you remember your high school days? The days of cliques, bullying, and unnecessary drama. Well, if you think those days are behind you, you’re wrong. Because, guess what? As moms, we are faced with a wave of mommy cliques, and indirect bullying. And, it’s even worse because these are grown up cliques. So, they’re no longer pups in the pack. They are wolves in the pack.

When I drop off my son at school (elementary school), the huddles of moms critiquing a certain teacher’s style of teaching, or complaining about the new grading scales, form all over the parking lot. It seems they don’t even come up for air. It’s just complaint after complaint. Most of them dressed still in their PJs, or sweats every single day. So, don’t give me the “oh well, maybe it was just a rough morning,” crap. For some of the wolf pack mommies, it’s a rough day every day….or so they say. You know because brushing your hair out, washing your face, and putting on a little BB cream and lip gloss is extremely time consuming to do in the morning.

So, what happens to moms who are just minding their own business, are in a nice outfit, accessorized, with full make up on, and they walk by these packs? They get stared down…down to the ground. Essentially, they get judged for no good reason at all. They get judged because some of these mommies that travel in packs, lose track of who they are as just women. They lose track of that desire to look as stunning as they can for themselves and for their husbands/partners. They become so indulged in all things mommy, that they just begin to look down and outcast the moms that do the mom thing, but still have a great grip on themselves as women.

Forget sexy date nights with the hubby. Wolf pack moms would much rather do play dates, wine nights with each other, and craft days with each other while their kids are at school. It’s 24-7 mom life, mom life, mom life. Heck, they invented #momlife.

Call me crazy, and I’ll probably be criticized by some crazy mom about this, but I hate play dates. If they happen, it has to be because I truly like the other mom. I don’t want to force a friendship just because our kids are friends. Sometimes moms don’t click, and that’s okay. I don’t want to do wine night with moms that sit around in circles, talking about what went on at the last PTA meeting. I don’t want to waste my time crafting, when I could be taking a nice relaxing bath, and then go out to Target and get the same reclaimed wood sign that the local mom wolf pack spent 3 hours making the night before. And most importantly, I don’t want to huddle around with other adult women, in front of my kids, judging other moms, critiquing teachers, and complaining about everything under the sun. What example is that for my child?

These mommy wolf packs are growing more and more by the minute, and it’s because parenting society has established this corny expectation about what “mom life” today, should be like. Well, guess what…I’d rather be a “party of one” mom. I’d rather show my kids how to be courageous, independent, understanding, and open minded. I’d rather show my kids that family fun, comes before friend fun. I’d rather show my husband on a free weekend how much he means to me with dinner, movies, and of course some sexy time. I’d rather be practical, and use my time for things that truly matter. I’d rather spend time with people who are genuine, sincere, and positive about our childrens’ education. I’m a party of one mom, it’s okay, and I love it.

 

I’m Better Than You: The Narcissistic New Year’s Facebook Status

By Charlene Lazewski

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My journey through my social media escapades consisted of a lot of eye rolls, questioning where humble personalities have gone, and acknowledging that humility is just dead overall.

My entire news feed was full of statuses where people didn’t just generally wish everyone a happy new year, full of joy and health. Instead people, made their new year’s wish status about themselves. They listed each specific great thing that happened to them in 2016. From, “we bought our first home, traveled here and there” to “I got my dream job, got the promotion I wanted”.

Okay…great, wonderful! I’m glad that in this world where such horrible things have been happening to innocent people, you are doing so fantastic. But, do you really have to plaster it on Facebook? What does that do for the people you are friends with on Facebook, really? Call me old school, but I’ve always been under assumption that the holiday season, including new year’s is about putting yourself last, and doing more for others, spreading cheer, and most of all kindness. There are people out there that are reading your self indulged statuses, while they’ve suffered a lot of hardships in the past year. So, your status is most definitely not spreading holiday cheer. It’s unnecessary, selfish, conceded, and just makes you come out as narcissistic.

And, I know what some of you are thinking, “oh, well people are just thankful for all the good that happened to them in 2016.” THAT in itself is wonderful. It’s the specific listing of all the good, that’s the problem. That’s just throwing it in people’s faces. Where is the humility in that? Some people had a year of struggles, and your status is not making it any better. Forget about yourself for a second. Stop using social media platforms as tools to prove to people that your life is better than theirs’, and instead use it to inspire people, to spread joy, kindness, and wisdom. People will appreciate a person who manifests a humble and generous personality, more than a person who is a walking, talking, posting billboard for themselves. In the end, if you have to advertise yourself and your life so much on social media, than you’re just proving to be insecure. Confidence glows more with humility and silence.

Let’s stay grounded this 2017, and help one another prosper and succeed. In the end, that’s what a good year is all about.

Why Calligraphy Is The Only Wow Factor You Need At Your Wedding…

By Charlene Lazewski

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In an age where texting has become one of the most popular forms of communication, we’ve also lost the true significance and essence of communicating with one another. We are no longer people hand-writing personal notes that hold so much meaning. We are now robots with fast typing fingers, that press “send” 200 times a day.
Think about how much more special a message was, during the times where the only way you could communicate with your loved ones, was verbally or in your own writing. It has a romantic appeal, doesn’t it? That is exactly what Janet, from Bella Grafia Calligraphy , thinks too. The principle behind her company is that sometimes the vintage way of creating art, is the best.
Janet was trained by the very best calligraphers in the world. Some include calligraphers that have written for The White House, and the Vatican. She is beyond passionate for this art. Although, it’s her career, she does it every day feeling like she’s doing a hobby instead. It doesn’t feel like work to her, because calligraphy is so deeply rooted in her heart.
Now, she is featured on some of the most popular wedding blogs in the world, consistently. And, also works with very famous companies based in New York City, and Los Angeles. She also does work for famous events around the country. Although, her company is based in the Houston area, she is well-known, and respected in big cities around the country.
Los Angeles holds a special spot in Janet’s heart because it has fueled her business with so many reputable clients and events, alike. She’s identified well with the Los Angeles culture so much, that she considers herself a Los Angeles Calligrapher, the majority of the time. As a planted Los Angeles Calligrapher, she has ben able to work for Chanel, Neiman Marcus, Beringer, Excelsior Wines, Franis Ford Coppola Winery, Martell Cognac, and many more. The list just goes on. And her business just continues to grow in regards to skills, and in turn, be able to offer more services than other Los Angeles Calligraphers. Or any other calligrapher for that matter.
Janet specializes in two very classic and elegant styles of calligraphy – Spencerian and Madarasz style. She considers herself to a be a cultured woman, who loves eclectic but soulful music. She hopes to speak fluent Spanish one day. But, most of all, she enjoys thinking outside the box when it comes to her calligraphy art. You will always see her using materials that may not be the norm in calligraphy, but that’s what makes it so unique, special, and stand out from the rest. Also, this exploration of non-traditional materials and tools, allows her to spark more curiosity within herself. Hence, giving birth to new art forms for the wedding and events industry.
For some, calligraphy may be a very “one-way street”. But, that stereotype most definitely does not apply to Bella Grafia Calligraphy. This is a business that has taken the ancient, but very special and elegant art of calligraphy to a whole new level, and fast. It’s owner, Janet, has made it her duty, not chore, to master her art and skills. And, that’s what makes her calligraphy, completely timeless.

How To Empower Your Home Decor With Metallics

By Charlene Lazewski

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Metallics are a very powerful accent theme trending in modern home decor. The best thing about metallic accent pieces, is that you can use them with many kinds of decor….traditional, shabby chic, contemporary, avant garde, country chic, etc. The options are endless. They are very versatile, and help blend your decor together. They create a sense of cohesion when placed around your home. In the end, they tie your entire look together. They also refresh your look because of their glam appeal. If you use it sparingly, you can achieve the perfect appearance and feel in your rooms.

Another plus about metallics is that with so many wonderful and cheap metallic spray paints, paints, and glazes, you can take so many of your current accents and quickly convert them to metallic. Which means you don’t have to go out and break the bank shopping for brand new accents for your entire home. Go in your basements and bring up older items, spruce them up for just a couple cents with some paint! Or you can even go to the dollar store, and buy different shaped glass vases, candle holders, plastic plates (to hand on your walls), etc….add some metallic paint….and you have brand new accents that look expensive….but only you will know the sweet and satisfying truth :) It’s that easy!

Here is some inspiration for you! Happy Decorating!

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