Mommy: Party of One, And That’s OK

By Charlene Lazewski

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Do you remember your high school days? The days of cliques, bullying, and unnecessary drama. Well, if you think those days are behind you, you’re wrong. Because, guess what? As moms, we are faced with a wave of mommy cliques, and indirect bullying. And, it’s even worse because these are grown up cliques. So, they’re no longer pups in the pack. They are wolves in the pack.

When I drop off my son at school (elementary school), the huddles of moms critiquing a certain teacher’s style of teaching, or complaining about the new grading scales, form all over the parking lot. It seems they don’t even come up for air. It’s just complaint after complaint. Most of them dressed still in their PJs, or sweats every single day. So, don’t give me the “oh well, maybe it was just a rough morning,” crap. For some of the wolf pack mommies, it’s a rough day every day….or so they say. You know because brushing your hair out, washing your face, and putting on a little BB cream and lip gloss is extremely time consuming to do in the morning.

So, what happens to moms who are just minding their own business, are in a nice outfit, accessorized, with full make up on, and they walk by these packs? They get stared down…down to the ground. Essentially, they get judged for no good reason at all. They get judged because some of these mommies that travel in packs, lose track of who they are as just women. They lose track of that desire to look as stunning as they can for themselves and for their husbands/partners. They become so indulged in all things mommy, that they just begin to look down and outcast the moms that do the mom thing, but still have a great grip on themselves as women.

Forget sexy date nights with the hubby. Wolf pack moms would much rather do play dates, wine nights with each other, and craft days with each other while their kids are at school. It’s 24-7 mom life, mom life, mom life. Heck, they invented #momlife.

Call me crazy, and I’ll probably be criticized by some crazy mom about this, but I hate play dates. If they happen, it has to be because I truly like the other mom. I don’t want to force a friendship just because our kids are friends. Sometimes moms don’t click, and that’s okay. I don’t want to do wine night with moms that sit around in circles, talking about what went on at the last PTA meeting. I don’t want to waste my time crafting, when I could be taking a nice relaxing bath, and then go out to Target and get the same reclaimed wood sign that the local mom wolf pack spent 3 hours making the night before. And most importantly, I don’t want to huddle around with other adult women, in front of my kids, judging other moms, critiquing teachers, and complaining about everything under the sun. What example is that for my child?

These mommy wolf packs are growing more and more by the minute, and it’s because parenting society has established this corny expectation about what “mom life” today, should be like. Well, guess what…I’d rather be a “party of one” mom. I’d rather show my kids how to be courageous, independent, understanding, and open minded. I’d rather show my kids that family fun, comes before friend fun. I’d rather show my husband on a free weekend how much he means to me with dinner, movies, and of course some sexy time. I’d rather be practical, and use my time for things that truly matter. I’d rather spend time with people who are genuine, sincere, and positive about our childrens’ education. I’m a party of one mom, it’s okay, and I love it.

 

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